Why should we be rethinking our smart phone usage?

Well, lower smart phone usage can help improve your relationships, productivity, mental and physical health, just to start.

An increasing body of evidence suggests that the time we spend on our smartphones is interfering with our sleep, self-esteem, relationships, memory, attention spans, creativity, productivity and problem-solving and decision-making skills.

There’s a reason that body language is such a big part of communication. We often make assumptions about how a person feels based on their body language.

You might perk up if your loved one energetically runs into the room. You might worry if a coworker skips their morning coffee and stands at the printer with slumped shoulders and eyes gazed towards the floor.

Do you ever find yourself in “chore wars” or conflict about household responsibilities with your partner? Eve Rods, author of ‘Fair Play’, helps examine how certain ways of thinking about time can keep couples stuck in unbalanced and ineffective cycles of communication and relationship dissatisfaction.

Here are some helpful guidelines to keep in mind when your family establishes healthy boundaries with their tech like smartphones, computers, video games, etc. Every family is different so it’s important to create a plan that works for your family and specific circumstance.

This list was inspired by healthykids.org

You are allowed to set limits on your time and energy. This is how you create a meaningful existence for yourself.

*Gentle reminder to review and set boundaries

In therapy, we may ask clients to describe aspects of their childhood. “I had a normal childhood” or “it was fine.”

It takes some time before we uncover what “good” and “fine” truly means.We all know that our parents usually tried the best they could with what they had. There could be tons of great memories with your parents. Additionally, you can probably recall some stressors, too.

1. Grounding Techniques: 5 senses exercise and breathing.

2. Self Expression: Writing, art, journaling, writing a letter, creative activities

3. Healthy connections with others: setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, seeing friends, calling a loved one

4. Exercise: walking, dancing, biking, swimming.

5. Progressive Muscle Relaxation. Tense one muscle at a time for 10-20 seconds each. You can start in your feet and work your way up.

6. Yoga

Why therapy?

There tends to be a lot of confusion around therapy. Some people think that when they seek therapy, they’ll get advice or a solution to their problems, when that’s not the case.In therapy, you ARE solving your own problems. Therapists are trained to ask questions that help you explore what YOU want; being the healthy soundboard that advocates the best for your wellbeing.

Nedra Tawwab is a truly phenomenal therapist, philanthropist, and expert in the mental health field. It was so exciting to hear her thoughts on love and relationships. I highly suggest watching and following her on Instagram. I jotted some key takeaways below that may help you right now!

1. Focus on sharing the management of the household. Clinical psychologist Lina Perl, Psy.D., recommends talking about it like this: “I feel uncomfortable delegating activities—it's a big job to be a manager. I'd rather we look at what needs to be done and decide together how to divide it up. Then I won't feel like I'm nagging everyone all the time.” (-mindbodygreen.com, 2019)

Some people may cope with stress more effectively and recover from stressful events more quickly than others. Why does it matter to know what kind of stress you're experiencing?

The Gottman Institute suggests asking yourself: "Do I have a chip on my shoulder with my partner right now?" Are you dismissing positive or neutral statements and seeing them as negative? Do you go looking for sleights and are ready to be on the defensive? Do you physiologically get flooded by your partner easily? These are subtle signs you may be in negative sentiment override.

Talking about sex is just as important as having sex. Whether you're scheduling times to get busy, expressing your desire, mentioning things getting in the way of sex- all sex-related topics are relevant. It helps you express what you want and creates language to build a mutual understanding between you and your partner.

It won’t always be easy. Sometimes you’ll slip up and say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. It’s okay, you’re only human. We all are. No one gets it right all the time.

"The good news is, doing the right thing all the time isn’t a huge deal. In fact, small, simple shifts can make a world of difference for you and your kids.” (McGhee, 2020)