Romance & You
When I was 12 years old, like many other girls my age, I thought boys were gross, love was weird, and I had no interest in romance. I was in 7th grade when I discovered one of my favorite musical artists, Mint Condition. I loved their first single, "Pretty Brown Eyes," but something shifted when I heard and saw the music video for "Forever In Your Eyes." As I watched the video and listened to the lyrics for the first time, my perspective changed. I started to reconsider the value of romantic love. I was experiencing what I would now consider my “romantic awakening.” Even now, as a grown adult with a 12-year-old daughter, the song and music video still resonate with me in the same way.
What stood out to me in the video and lyrics was the singer’s desire for his romantic interest. However, his pining and pursuit were not aggressive but reverential and careful. He was mindful and considerate. This approach was different from what I was experiencing with peers or what was being modeled in my community. It was mutual, exciting, and fun. I decided that I wanted that for myself.
Romance is defined as a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love. It can be challenging to maintain that excitement and mystery in a long-term relationship. However, I believe that romance requires intentionality and nurturing. I am also reminded of the themes that resonated with me during my adolescence when I was not in any relationship. There is so much value in romanticizing our lives, both inside and outside of romantic relationships. Let’s consider some opportunities to foster more excitement, reverence, and consideration for ourselves:
Mindful Presence
● Savor Small Moments: Slow down and appreciate simple pleasures like a cup of coffee, a walk in nature, or a sunset.
● Practice Gratitude: Focus on what you’re thankful for each day. This can be as small as the warmth of the sun or the smile of a stranger.
Create Daily Rituals
● Morning Ritual: Start your day with something that brings you peace, whether it’s journaling, meditating, or listening to your favorite music.
● Evening Routine: Wind down with activities that relax you, like reading a book, taking a bath, or lighting candles.
Cultivate Beauty
● Curate Your Space: Surround yourself with things that inspire you—fresh flowers, art, or meaningful mementos.
● Personal Style: Wear clothes that make you feel good, even if it’s just for yourself. Enjoy the act of getting ready.
Engage in Creative Activities
● Express Yourself: Engage in activities that allow you to create, like writing, painting, or cooking. Focus on the process rather than the outcome.
● Capture Memories: Take photos, journal, or create a scrapbook to document and reflect on your experiences.
Connect with Nature
● Spend Time Outdoors: Whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike, or simply sitting outside, connect with nature and enjoy its calming effects.
● Gardening: If possible, grow plants or flowers, even if it’s just a small indoor plant. Watching something grow can be incredibly fulfilling.
Nurture Relationships
● Deep Conversations: Engage in meaningful conversations with loved ones. Ask questions, listen deeply, share your thoughts and feelings, and build deeper connections.
● Surprise Gestures: Show appreciation through small, thoughtful gestures—write a letter, give a compliment, or plan a surprise. It can mean so much to people.
Pursue Your Passions
● Follow Your Curiosity: Engage in activities or learn about subjects that fascinate you, whether it’s a hobby, a new skill, or an area of study. Allow yourself to be curious.
● Dream and Plan: Set goals that excite you, and pursue those goals and dreams. Take steps toward them, and enjoy the journey.
I hope that a few of these strategies can help you feel more empowered to pursue fun and exciting romance in your life—just for you. You deserve it, within relationships and outside of them. Take care, and be romantic!
